This will soon be a veritable cornucopia of information and well-considered opinion about the dangerous vegetable worship cult spreading through the land of queenellen. For now, it is what it is.....

When queenellen travels on her royal business, somehow dinnertime always comes in towns like Rock Springs, Wyoming. In case you didn't know, towns like these are in the heart of cattle country, and they think vegetarians are communists who will corrupt the moral values of their children. So here's a tip if you end up hungry in beef country: head to the nearest Chinese restaurant,and order the dish called either "Buddha's Delight "or "Buddha's Garden." You will be well fed with tasty baby corn and wood ears, and you will be able to avoid complicated and unpleasant explanatory scenarios.

 

 

Queenellen is descended from a long line of cooks, although not all of them have worked exactly in the same media. In fact many of the royal uncles are sure she will drop dead any second from lack of meat in her diet.
Here is a presentation of TOXIC RECIPES culled from heirloom cookbooks recently passed onto the royal estate. Not for the faint of skillet.

 

As far as I'm concerned, there are two kinds of food which are acceptable: pastries and produce. In my experience, there is a serious dearth of both in too many American homes. Perhaps that's what is wrong.